Vmyths.com "What's New" Newsletter
Truth About Computer Security Hysteria
{11 July 2005}
IN THIS ISSUE:
Top item of the week
Scandalabra
Weekly online polls & surveys
"Whisper" data collection
Humor control
Hysteria: this week in history
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TOP ITEM OF THE WEEK
The average high school keeps statistics on its girls' softball team. The average computer security expert keeps NO statistics on virus infections. What's wrong with this picture? Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=724&page=4 before you attend your daughter's playoff game.
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SCANDALABRA
The fearmongers at mi2g claim the Sasser worm caused at least $14 billion in damages worldwide. And yet a German court gave the worm's author nothing more than a suspended sentence. Makes you wonder if the U.S. should invade Germany to bring Sasser's author to justice...
MX Logic, Inc. offers a virus/spam filtering service and TUCOWS markets it to customers as EmailDefenseService.com. But spammers know about a poorly defended mail server at 216.40.36.56. Vmyths knows it forwards spam, and comments on Usenet indicate it also forwards malicious attachments...
Wow! And I do mean WOW! Jack Bauer's team fought CYBER-terrorists on this season's hit show "24"! Talk about a jaw-dropping plot twist! Imagine how many people would have died if that deadly denial-of-service attack had succeeded! Man, you should've seen it! Firearms and SWAT tactics were no match for the massive onslaught of cyber-terrorism! Tune into http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/74.htm to watch the clip.
Let's make sure we get this straight, folks. Jack Bauer chopped off his partner's hand, tortured his girlfriend's ex, murdered his government boss, got addicted to heroin, started a riot to help a drug kingpin escape from prison, raided a Chinese consulate, battled nuclear terrorists and bio-terrorists -- and FOUGHT OFF A COMPUTER HACKER! Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=507&page=4 if you need to put Jack Bauer's exploits in proper perspective.
Cisco didn't just pay for product placement in this season's "24" show -- they paid for a full-blown plot insertion. Up to this point, computer security experts have played NO role in TV shows and movies. From "The West Wing" to "24" to "X-Files" to "The Net" to "Virus" to "Fatal Error" to "The Matrix," every script has played out as if computer security firms didn't exist. Could Cisco's marketing effort signal a change in Hollywood's disdain for computer security firms?
Then again, this "24" cyber-terror episode DID follow the standard movie clich�. Remember our saying: "When a computer virus threatens mankind, antivirus experts are nowhere to be found. The virus is always defeated by someone who has little or no computer security expertise. Corollary: if the computer virus is defeated by two or more people, one of them will be a beautiful woman." Watch the clip at http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/74.htm and you'll see (ta da!) a beautiful woman who saves the day...
Speaking of cyber-terrorists: Al Qaeda had to choose whether to annoy a hundred million Americans on 9/11/01 or kill a few thousand. Tough choice! Thankfully for us, they chose the latter. "According to [Security Board executive director Richard] Arns, if bin Laden's hijackers had flown one of those planes into a certain building less than 20 blocks away from the World Trade Center, telecommunications on the East Coast would have been cut off for months." Yeah, and our innocuous Transportation Security Agency would have been turned a draconian Telecommunications Security Agency. Instead of a secret no-fly list, we would have had a secret no-surf list... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/70.htm for yet another dufus cyber-terror opinion.
Got something for our "Scandalabra" section? Send it to Tips@Vmyths.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.
WEEKLY ONLINE POLLS & SURVEYS
According to the fearmongers at mi2g, the teenage author of the "Sasser" worm caused at least $14 billion in damages worldwide. A German court gave him nothing more than a suspended sentence -- and Germany forbids extradition. Should the United States invade Germany to bring this child to justice for crimes against humanity? Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=87&page=1 to take our polls or to see the results!
In unscientific poll #020, we asked: "Many (but not all) antivirus programs will fail to detect a new virus until an update becomes available. This period is loosely known as 'the timeframe of crucial unreliability.' What is your acceptable timeframe for crucial unreliability in antivirus software?" We received a total of 200 votes. 6%/10%/4% said they could accept up to a 12/24/48 hour window of crucial unreliability. 13% said their acceptable timeframe of crucial unreliability depends on the proliferation speed of the new virus. 7% said they trust their antivirus vendor will choose an acceptable timeframe of crucial unreliability for the product they use. 62% said there is no acceptable timeframe for crucial unreliability... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/1020.htm to see the poll as a graph and follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/2020.htm to read the voters' comments. Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=605&page=4 to learn why customers overwhelmingly prefer unreliable antivirus software.
"WHISPER" DATA COLLECTION
Whisper is now collecting data on these and other controversial topics:
* How much did your company/school/agency pay for computer security
products & services?
* Copies of your company/school/agency's virus charts and reports
* The name of a Canadian teenager arrested for distributing the
Randex worm ($100 reward for authoritative documents)
* The name of a 37yr-old computer programmer in Madrid, Spain
identified by police as "J.A.S." for distributing a webcam trojan
* Which computer security firms supply offensive hacking/virus
technology to which countries?
See http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=89&page=1 for full details on the controversial data we're collecting.
Are you a whistleblower or industry insider? Got a scoop or some dirt on the computer security industry? Email it to Whisper@SecurityCritics.org, or call Rob Rosenberger at (319) 646-2800, or mail it to P.O. Box 50, Wellman, IA 52356. ALL sources will remain confidential.
HUMOR CONTROL
The folks at BBspot agreed to let us carry their security-related humor. Next up: "Pedestrian hacker group releases crosswalk button hacks..." Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=723&page=4 before you help that little old lady cross the street.
In Computerworld's exclusive interview with Al Qaeda's top cyber-terror expert, the notorious "Melhacker" said his forthcoming "3-in-1 megaworm" will stop professional drivers from traveling on closed courses. "It will deliver a massive blow to the critical automotive sales industry," interviewer Dan Verton said in a sidebar story. Melhacker predicted the U.S. will suffer a 94.3% drop in sales of automobiles and motorcycles in the first month after his megaworm is released... See http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=569&page=4 for details on Melhacker and his vaporware virus.
In its updated "AFI 33-138" regulation, the U.S. Air Force authorized computer security firm Counterpane to issue their "Crypto-Gram" newsletter as a NOTAM (a mandatory notice to airmen stationed around the world). "It's a wildly popular newsletter," said Wanja Eric Naef, who moderates the "INFOCON" computer security mailing list, which is itself named after a vital Air Force cyber-terror threat status. "We're one of many newsgroups that blindly forward it. Our subscribers just can't get enough news about the firm's fourth quarter profits, their latest products & services, and their CTO's veiled marketing trips. It's only natural that the Air Force would want Counterpane to pass along this extraordinary information as a notice to all airmen." The Crypto-Gram newsletter grew in popularity after 9/11/01 when it deviated from computer security -- it now covers topics ranging from guns in the cockpit to whether your grandmother should be randomly frisked before she boards a New York subway. "These things have nothing to do with our mailing list," Naef admitted, "but that's really not important. What IS important is that everyone knows Counterpane was mentioned in a Forbes magazine story. The Air Force did the right thing when they elevated the company's newsletter to a NOTAM..."
In related news, the INFOCON mailing list refused to forward this Vmyths newsletter to its subscribers. "Your so-called 'company' still has no self-marketing agenda after all these years," moderator Wanja Eric Naef wrote in a scathing denial letter. "Furthermore, your commentaries remain focused on computer security issues. You will achieve far more success if you emulate 'Oprah' and 'Crypto-Gram,' which bang their owners' drums under the guise of a veiled self-marketing fanzine..."
The United Nations has ordered newspapers to stop publishing information about imprisoned Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. "The deposed president has not been convicted of any crime," an unnamed U.N. spokeswoman read from a written statement. "Publishing his personal information is an open invitation to identity theft." CNN and London's Daily Telegraph said they will oblige the request for data privacy...
The school district of Iowa City, Iowa has abandoned the concept of class rankings after cyber-terrorists changed students' grades. "Seventeen students qualified as valedictorians, which is an impossibility given our state's substandard education system," said a district spokeswoman. "The only possible explanation is cyber-terrorism." Hundreds of computer science students, plus all seventeen of the 4.0 GPA students, were expelled from school "as a precaution" while database administrators try to figure out how the terrorists got away with their dastardly deed...
Order a gag gift for your favorite computer virus expert! We've got plenty to choose from. We took some of our best sayings and put them on merchandise. Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1 only if you have a sense of humor... Check out our "Senator Schumer" line of clothing if you really want to terrorize the security experts at your firm!
HYSTERIA: THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
This week in 1999: http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=44&page=4
What's wrong with this picture? 'The hacker group "Cult of the Dead Cow" failed to notice a deadly computer virus had gotten onto a CD-ROM they distributed at a product release party...
This week in 2001: http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=347&page=4
Memo to Symantec: (1) Never knowingly plagiarize someone's work. (2) If you blow #1, don't tell the copyright owner that plagiarism falls under the Fair Use Doctrine. (3) If you blow #2, don't stiff the guy's tiny compensation demand. (4) Absolutely, no matter what, never never NEVER plagiarize a comedian. They can vent their frustration in ways you won't like...
This week in 2002: http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/2/1.htm
Some people wonder why Vmyths uses humor to dispel virus hysteria. About.com's Mary Landesman talked to Rob Rosenberger for a serious interview about antivirus comedy...
This week in 2004: http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=668&page=4
BBspot humor: spammers are using Outlook exploit to send messages from the future. They're using an exploit in Outlook 2116, of course. Bill Gates' great-great grandson will spearhead the security patch that fixes it...
That's enough for this edition. My best to y'all. Please keep fighting the virus hysteria.
Rob Rosenberger, editor
http://Vmyths.com
Rob@Vmyths.com
(319) 646-2800
--------------- Useful links ------------------
A-Z list of computer virus hoaxes
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm
How to spot a hoax computer virus alert
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=19&page=1
Reduce virus hoaxes inside your company
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=20&page=1
False Authority Syndrome
http://Vmyths.com/fas/fas1.cfm
Hoaxes NOT related to computer security
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm?id=16&page=3
Comedy vs. virus hysteria? Believe it!
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1
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