Vmyths.com "What's New" Newsletter
Truth About Computer Security Hysteria
{19 July 2005}
IN THIS ISSUE:
Top item of the week
Out & About
Weekly online polls & surveys
"Whisper" data collection
Scandalabra
Other items of note
Humor control
Hysteria: this week in history
The editor's notepad
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TOP ITEM OF THE WEEK
Irony, anyone? On April Fool's Day, the Congressional Research Service cited a bizarre computer security story -- a story written by one of America's most gullible journalists... Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=725&page=4 before you digest another congressional report.
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OUT & ABOUT
Yours Truly will answer the question "Why Don't Antivirus Firms Get Infected?" on August 8th at the Capital PC User Group meeting (Springfield, VA). Admission is free and everyone is invited. Visit http://www.cpcug.org for full details.
WEEKLY ONLINE POLLS & SURVEYS
Should antivirus firms offer reward money for information leading to the arrest & conviction of virus authors? Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=87&page=1 to take our polls or to see the results!
In unscientific poll #021, we asked: "Is it okay to spread a hoax virus alert if it convinces people to update their antivirus software?" We received a total of 241 votes. 8% said yes; 92% said no... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/1021.htm to see the poll as a graph and follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/2021.htm to read the voters' comments. Read http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm?id=271&page=3 to learn what you can do when someone spreads a hoax virus alert.
"WHISPER" DATA COLLECTION
Whisper is now collecting data on these and other controversial topics:
* How much did your company/school/agency pay for computer security
products & services?
* Copies of your company/school/agency's virus charts and reports
* The name of a Canadian teenager arrested for distributing the
Randex worm ($100 reward for authoritative documents)
* The name of a 37yr-old computer programmer in Madrid, Spain
identified by police as "J.A.S." for distributing a webcam trojan
* Which computer security firms supply offensive hacking/virus
technology to which countries?
See http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=89&page=1 for full details on the controversial data we're collecting.
Are you a whistleblower or industry insider? Got a scoop or some dirt on the computer security industry? Email it to Whisper@SecurityCritics.org, or call Rob Rosenberger at (319) 646-2800, or mail it to P.O. Box 50, Wellman, IA 52356. ALL sources will remain confidential.
SCANDALABRA
Microsoft will split a $250,000 reward between two informants who led them to "Sasser" worm author Sven Jachsen. It appears Redmond has now spent more in reward money than all antivirus vendors combined! This forces us to once again ask a philosophical question. "What do the makers of antivirus software really DO for society?" Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=701&page=4 if you like to ponder.
Naturally, antivirus vendors DO sometimes pay virus authors for products and support. (It's one of the industry's dirty little secrets.) They just don't pay informants to bring virus authors to justice. It might damage a lucrative market for antivirus updates... Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=650&page=4 if you like to ponder.
Minnesota state employees stopped working for almost two weeks because the legislature couldn't agree on a budget. "So what," you might say. "It's not the first time a budget impasse has shut down a state bureaucracy, and the feds have done some shutting down of their own in recent history." Yes yes yes -- but if a computer virus had caused this, the media would have gone ballistic over it. And the coattail-riding fearmongers at mi2g would have estimated Minnesota's economic damage to the penny... Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=426&page=4 for a different perspective.
Iowa's new computerized vehicle registration system "could damage the public's esteem for government service," says a story in The Gazette. "People have waited in line as long as 45 minutes to register their vehicles because the system is slow... The consistently plodding system slowed nearly to a stop June 30 and July 1 and had to be temporarily shut down statewide." Iowa treats it as an annoyance -- but again, if a computer virus had caused this, the media would have gone ballistic over it. And the coattail-riding fearmongers at mi2g would have estimated Iowa's economic damage to the penny...
Got something for our "Scandalabra" section? Send it to Tips@Vmyths.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.
OTHER ITEMS OF NOTE
Which is worse -- Hurricane Dennis, or a computer virus? If you said "computer virus," you're right! Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=560&page=4 if you answered wrong.
Please forward computer virus alerts to HoaxFYI@Vmyths.com when you receive them -- your effort will help us detect changing trends in virus hysteria.
HUMOR CONTROL
About 9,000 Minnesota state workers returned to their jobs Monday morning after a vacation they didn't ask for -- and, in many cases, won't get paid for. The furloughed state workers were the most high-profile victims of the state's first government shutdown caused by cyber-terrorism. The partial shutdown of the state's computer network shuttered some agencies and services for more than a week. It came to an end early Saturday, when Gov. Tim Pawlenty renewed the state's antivirus subscription through midnight Thursday, giving computer security teams the time they need to finalize implementation of new computer security software...
In an exclusive Computerworld interview with Al Qaeda's top cyber-terror expert, the notorious "Melhacker" said he used a "bladder overflow exploit" to reposition the USS Spiegel Grove, a sunken ship off Florida's Key Largo. "I am to do it for fun," he told reporter Dan Verton. Lassy Beekins of the Reef Environmental Education Foundation was horrified by the event. "Melhacker has caused unbelievable damage to the local diving and tourism industries," she said. Digital risk firm mi2g estimated the total oceanic damages at $2,005,763,818,943.12 (with an error of plus or minus two-tenths of a penny). The U.S. Navy raised its "INFOCON" cyber-terror alert to "Delta" and uploaded a security utility tool to protect against bladder overflow exploits... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/79.htm for more details.
Headline at The Spoof: "Poker thieves nab 273 quadrillion chips." The culprits used a wireless router to pull off the largest theft of play money in history... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/76.htm for the story.
News.com recently celebrated its 10,000th story on a "critical computer security flaw" that could destroy the Internet. Reporter Joris Evers filed the story on 13 July under the headline "Flaws could open systems to attack." Newsroom manager Robert Lemos presented Evers with a plaque for reaching the News.com milestone. "If it wasn't for us, the Internet would never know about these horrifying computer security threats," Lemos observed. "We've saved the Internet's life 10,000 times already." He ended the ceremony by shouting "now let's all go out there and write ten thousand more stories about critical computer security flaws!"
The U.S. Air Force has confirmed the existence of a "Cockroft-Walton accelerator virus." Written by SrA Jon Cockroft and SrA Darren Walton at the legendary 92nd Information Warfare Aggressor Squadron, the new virus "will completely disintegrate an IP address," a USAF spokesman said. Pacifists at the Internet Engineering Task Force complained loudly in a press release, saying "we have a finite number of IP addresses and it is absolutely immoral to annihilate any of them in the name of war..."
Congressman Henry Hyde (R-IL) announced he will retire at the end of his current term in office. "I lack knowledge of computers and cyber-terrorism," the frustrated politician mumbled at a press conference. "Representative Zoe Lofgren (D-CA) told me I'm a feeble old dog who can't learn a new computer trick..."
Cisco has recalled its entire line of inexpensive "NSLU2" file servers due to the threat of cyber-terrorism. "The device does not allow a period in the workgroup name field," said an urgent press release. "This flaw gives terrorists the ability to destroy every computer network on the planet..."
The producers of "American Idol" have announced they will no longer identify contestants by name, nor will they provide any other details. "We need to protect our budding singing sensations from the threat of identity theft," said an anonymous spokeswoman who resembled Paula Abdul. Contestants will only be identified with generic monikers such as "long haired rocker boy" or "brunette twangy cowgirl" or "william hung"...
Pope Benedict XVI will focus on the pandemic of cyber-terrorism during his tenure as Heaven's mortal emissary. The Vatican's website has started calling for cyber-peace in the middle east -- a region which has been ravaged for years by suicidal hacker attacks... Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=509&page=4 to understand why Pope Benedict is so concerned.
Order a gag gift for your favorite computer virus expert! We've got plenty to choose from. We took some of our best sayings and put them on merchandise. Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1 only if you have a sense of humor... Check out our "Senator Schumer" line of clothing if you really want to terrorize the security experts at your firm!
HYSTERIA: THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
This week in 2001: http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=60&page=1
Ah, yes. The Code Red worm. So powerful, it threatened to destroy the White House. The FBI deputized the media in an "unprecedented" press conference to warn the world of imminent danger...
This week in 2002: http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=496&page=4
Did all of the U.S. cybercops who protect the Internet take a mass vacation? We noticed a distinct lack of new alerts on the agency's website. It makes you wonder who defends the Internet in FBI NIPC's absence...
THE EDITOR'S NOTEPAD
One of the founders of mi2g (nope, not D.K. Matai!) apparently worked for Her Majesty's Secret Service and/or the infamous Suharto regime. In a column published earlier this year, I asked Britain's covert intelligence unit to "muzzle" the CEO of mi2g. Coincidentally, mi2g hasn't posted a press release on their website since 13 May... See http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=707&page=4 for my obscure "memo to handler."
Dear Dianne, thanks for sending a snippet of last week's newsletter to crypto demigod Bruce Schneier. Unfortunately, he didn't realize the "news" was satire. I had to explain it to him -- twice. Please include the "HUMOR CONTROL" headline if you forward any more items from our Humor Control section. And please ask Bruce to watch more "Weekend Updates" on Saturday Night Live. Thanks!
(No joke: Schneier asked if I penned the snippets about him. "Dianne must be one of my subscribers and, yes, those items did appear in [last] week's 'Humor Control' section..." Then he asked for a link to the Air Force regulation I cited. I gave it to him. Then he wrote to say he couldn't find his company's name in the regulation. "Okay, let's go back to square one. My weekly newsletter includes a section called 'Humor Control'...")
That's enough for this edition. My best to y'all. Please keep fighting the virus hysteria.
Rob Rosenberger, editor
http://Vmyths.com
Rob@Vmyths.com
(319) 646-2800
--------------- Useful links ------------------
A-Z list of computer virus hoaxes
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm
How to spot a hoax computer virus alert
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=19&page=1
Reduce virus hoaxes inside your company
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=20&page=1
False Authority Syndrome
http://Vmyths.com/fas/fas1.cfm
Hoaxes NOT related to computer security
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm?id=16&page=3
Comedy vs. virus hysteria? Believe it!
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1
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