[Vmyths.com news] NostradamISS saves America yet again

Vmyths.com "What's New" Newsletter
Truth About Computer Security Hysteria
{1 August 2005}

IN THIS ISSUE:
Top item of the week
Scandalabra
Weekly online polls & surveys
Other items of note
"Whisper" data collection
Humor control
Hysteria: this week in history
The editor's notepad

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TOP ITEM OF THE WEEK
Vmyths editor Rob Rosenberger's wife, Denise, passed away on Friday, 29 July. Rob's upcoming speech in Springfield, VA has been postponed. This newsletter was still being prepared just a few hours before her death, so please understand if it contains typos or broken links. Those interested may send condolences and donations c/o Powell Funeral Home, 7th Ave. S., Wellman, IA 52356.

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SCANDALABRA
ISS part 1 -- Many years ago, Internet Security Systems overlooked requests to upgrade their flagship product to detect antivirus vulnerabilities. Heaven knows we talked about this problem over the years in this very newsletter; check out http://www.adveis.org to see how far back this issue goes. Recently, though, ISS decided to "own" the PR for antivirus vulnerabilities. A CNET story reveals ISS mouthpiece Neel Mehta will huffed & puffed about it at this year's "Black Hat" conference. Well, at least ISS finally caught up to the other researchers... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/83.htm for the controversy.

ISS part 2 -- ISS, along with Cisco, filed a restraining order to stop a former ISS employee from delivering a lecture on how to attack Cisco routers. Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/84.htm for that one. Let's make sure we get this straight! It's perfectly okay for ISS to blab about how to take over the Internet via antivirus software, but it's wrong for ISS to blab about how to take over the Internet via router software...

ISS part 3 -- ISS employee Michael Lynn resigned from his job hours before giving a forbidden lecture (see part 2, above). Why did he resign? Because he desperately wanted to SAVE AMERICA from your basic fate worse than death. What a martyr! He should tout that in job interviews. "Well, sir, for one thing, I single-handedly saved the lives of three hundred million humans and the national water supply and the national electric power grid and the national defense and the national economy and the national petroleum reserves and the national transportation systems and the national 911 system and the national telecommunications systems..." Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/84.htm if you think we're making this up.

ISS part 4 -- ISS employee Michael Lynn resigned in an act of martyrdom, and ISS bragged yet again about the dire threat of antivirus vulnerabilities. Yet the firm's "AlertCon" threat status has remained at "normal" the whole time. Why didn't they ratchet it up a few notches to coincide with all the blabbermouth revelations at the Black Hat conference? See
http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=712&page=4
http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=493&page=4
http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=468&page=4
to understand why the ISS "AlertCon" status is arbitrary and/or prejudiced.

ISS part 5 -- "Mike Lynn, a former researcher at Internet Security Systems, said he was tipped off late Thursday night that the FBI was investigating him for violating trade secrets belonging to his former employer... Lynn's lawyer, Jennifer Granick, confirmed that the FBI told her it was investigating her client." In other words, only ISS may save the United States from your basic fate worse than death. Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/86.htm for the story.

In related news, Sophos admitted their antivirus product line contains -- gasp! -- a buffer overflow vulnerability. Ironically, their customers won't fret for "the next two weeks" while Sophos tries to fix the exploitable portion of its software... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/85.htm for details.

In its defense, Sophos actually *published* an alert about the insecurity in their security software and they openly thanked the researcher who discovered it. Contrast this with Symantec and McAfee -- two firms that routinely leave customers in the dark re: antivirus product vulnerabilities... Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=562&page=4 to understand why only the antivirus industry can ignore blatant security flaws in their own products.

Got something for our "Scandalabra" section? Send it to Tips@Vmyths.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.

WEEKLY ONLINE POLLS & SURVEYS
Do you care if hackers can exploit a critical security vulnerability in your antivirus product? Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=87&page=1 to take our polls or to see the results!

In unscientific poll #023, we asked: "Would you watch a weekly TV show on computer security?" We received a total of 189 votes. 32% gave an unconditional "no" while 42% gave an unconditional "yes." 8% would watch a computer security action show; 3% would watch a computer security reality show; 8% would watch a computer security news show; 4% would watch a computer security cartoon series; 1% would watch a computer security sitcom; and 2% would watch a computer security daytime soap opera... Follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/1023.htm to see the poll as a graph and follow http://Vmyths.com/mm/url/5/2023.htm to read the voters' comments. Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=559&page=4 for a rejected TV drama for computer security buffs.

OTHER ITEMS OF NOTE
Which is worse -- the recent deadly typhoon in Mumbai, India, or a computer virus? If you said "computer virus," you're right! Read http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=585&page=4 if you answered wrong.

Please forward computer virus alerts to HoaxFYI@Vmyths.com when you receive them -- your effort will help us detect changing trends in virus hysteria.

"WHISPER" DATA COLLECTION
Whisper is now collecting data on these and other controversial topics:
* How much did your company/school/agency pay for computer security
products & services?
* Copies of your company/school/agency's virus charts and reports
* The name of a Canadian teenager arrested for distributing the
Randex worm ($100 reward for authoritative documents)
* The name of a 37yr-old computer programmer in Madrid, Spain
identified by police as "J.A.S." for distributing a webcam trojan
* Which computer security firms supply offensive hacking/virus
technology to which countries?
See http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=89&page=1 for full details on the controversial data we're collecting.

Are you a whistleblower or industry insider? Got a scoop or some dirt on the computer security industry? Email it to Whisper@SecurityCritics.org, or call Rob Rosenberger at (319) 646-2800, or mail it to P.O. Box 50, Wellman, IA 52356. ALL sources will remain confidential.

HUMOR CONTROL
The "Irish E-publican Army" -- the most deadly faction within the Irish Republican Army -- announced it will abandon its armed cyber campaign and resume degaussing in a dramatic declaration designed to revive Northern Ireland's peace process. The IRA said all of its clandestine hacker units had been ordered to erase their hard disks and cease all activities, but it would not formally disband. "The leadership has formally ordered an end to the armed cyber campaign," the IRA said in an email...

Amazon.com announced they will offer a bulletin board system with racks of modems for secure ordering. "Too many of our customers are infected with keystroke loggers or are logging into spoof sites," spokesman S. Shankar Sastry said. "We launched this proprietary bulletin board system so customers can safely order products without using the Internet." Customers will need to purchase a special "Amazon.com terminal" with modem, ROM disk, and monochrome video display. In related news, Amazon.com will disable one-click ordering to protect customers. "We need to make it as hard as possible for customers to place orders in order to protect them from criminals..."

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison once declared his company's software "unbreakable," only to watch his firm admit their products are riddled with security flaws. Ellison recently took a new approach to security -- he re-categorized all products as antivirus software. "Hackers ignore vulnerabilities in antivirus utilities," Ellison declared, "so it's a win-win for Oracle. You'll never again here about a security flaw from us..."

Security firm (ISC)� has convinced 37 states to issue special "CISSP" vanity plates for computer security professionals. "Specially marked license plates are typically offered to firemen, military veterans, ham radio operators, and other people in the helping or security professions," (ISC)� general counsel Dorsey Morrow said. "When you see a CISSP license plate, you can rest assured that person is out there saving lives and protecting our freedoms every day..." Certified CISSPs can visit http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=720&page=4 for a list of states with vanity plates.

For the first time, leading U.S. Muslim scholars issued a religious edict to condemn cyber-terrorism and virus/worm creation. "Islam strictly condemns the use of violence against innocent computers," said the decree, or fatwa, released in Washington by the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA), a group of U.S. Muslim scholars interpreting Islamic law. It is the first time Muslims in North America issued an anti-cyber-terrorism edict, although they had repeatedly condemned viruses & worms. The fatwa has been endorsed by major U.S. Muslim computer groups. In the edict, the 18-member FCNA said people who committed cyber-terrorism are "criminals," not "martyrs." All acts of cyber-terrorism targeting civilian computers are haram (forbidden) in Islam," and "it is haram for a Muslim to cooperate with any individual or group that is involved in any act of cyber-terrorism or violence," declared the fatwa...

Rep. Curt Weldon (R-PA) has submitted a bill authorizing both combat zone pay and imminent danger pay for military members assigned to information warfare units. "I'll be the first to admit these people work in the U.S.," Weldon said at a press conference, "but when you're fighting a cyber-insurgent on the Internet, the front line is everywhere." Weldon's bill, if passed, would also authorize a Purple Heart combat injury medal for civilian computer virus expert Patrick Nolan, who was wounded in January while downloading a top secret cyber-weapon (as we reported in our 1/3/05 newsletter)...

Al Qaeda's top cyber-terror expert is on school vacation. But don't worry: the notorious "Melhacker" will return in our next newsletter with incredulous exploits and vague threats of annihilation... Visit http://www.scezda.com to learn about the narcissistic idiot we love to make fun of.

The Vatican has announced that popes will no longer use their birth names, in order to protect them against the threat of identity theft. As soon as a pope is elected, he/she will choose a generic first name and a numeric last name-- oh waitaminit, popes already do that! Nevermind...

General John Jumper has approved a change to the U.S. Air Force "INFOCON" alarm condition. "The 'normal' state will be deleted on 1 October 2005," Jumper wrote in an email that was forwarded to "all usaf." The nation's top military flyer explained the Internet "poses a direct threat to national security" at all hours of the day and night, "therefore it can never be 'normal.'" Ironically, the general's email caused USAF mail servers in Iraq to overload and crash, which in turn caused the Air Force to declare an INFOCON "Bravo" alarm... See http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=46&page=4 for more on the Air Force's vaunted INFOCON alert system.

Order a gag gift for your favorite computer virus expert! We've got plenty to choose from. We took some of our best sayings and put them on merchandise. Visit http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1 only if you have a sense of humor... Check out our "Senator Schumer" line of clothing if you really want to terrorize the security experts at your firm!

HYSTERIA: THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
This week in 2001: http://Vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=360&page=4
Warning! A "Stealth Ogling Worm" has been discovered! If you are a woman between the ages of 17 and 23, still in high school or attending college, who freshens her lipstick in front of boys after eating at Taco Bell or KFC, but NOT at Pizza Hut...

THE EDITOR'S NOTEPAD
Waaaay back in 1999 -- you know: the previous millennium -- I called then-Symantec CTO Enrique Salem. "Hey, I can own every corporate server on Earth if it uses the current version of Norton AntiVirus." Salem asked his top researcher, Carey Nachenberg, to call me back. And so Nachenberg did. They fixed the vulnerabilities, and that was that.

McAfee. Trend Micro. Sophos. MimeSweeper. Command Software. Central Command. Blah blah blah. They fixed their vulnerabilities, and that was that. The Earth somehow survived.

Some time later I met up with MessageLabs flunky Alex Shipp at an antivirus industry conference. "I don't think you guys ever tried out my vulnerability tests, did you?" No, they hadn't. Shipp sent a follow-up email to say they found, and fixed, some serious vulnerabilities. And that was that.

My research proved its point and so I moved on to another project. A man named Andreas Marx later independently studied antivirus vulnerabilities. He arrived at the same basic conclusions. It's riddled with holes.

Now ISS wants the world to think they discovered something brand new? A threat so pervasive and scary, that they left their "AlertCon" threat status at its "normal" level until the afternoon of 29 July? Bah. ISS is *years* behind the power curve, folks.

I'll admit some antivirus vendors don't fix vulnerabilities as fast as I'd like. But why should I even bother to name the slowpokes? Customers simply do NOT care if hackers can turn their most trusted antivirus products against them ... and the hackers don't care either.

That's enough for this edition. My best to y'all. Please keep fighting the virus hysteria.

Rob Rosenberger, editor
http://Vmyths.com
Rob@Vmyths.com
(319) 646-2800

PS: Au revoir, my lovely bride...

--------------- Useful links ------------------

A-Z list of computer virus hoaxes
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm

How to spot a hoax computer virus alert
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=19&page=1

Reduce virus hoaxes inside your company
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=20&page=1

False Authority Syndrome
http://Vmyths.com/fas/fas1.cfm

Hoaxes NOT related to computer security
http://Vmyths.com/hoax.cfm?id=16&page=3

Comedy vs. virus hysteria? Believe it!
http://Vmyths.com/resource.cfm?id=82&page=1

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